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As it is today, so it was yesterday [22 Jul 2008|11:23am]
At the weekend, I watched a fascinating little documentary on BBC4 about London bus drivers (from the Putney garage) which was originally broadcast in 1983, called “Off The Buses”. I watched it for two reasons - one, I love little documentaries like this, especially their time-capsule quality and two, it was about a social-club-organised trip to Alton Towers and that’s the year that I first went, with the school.

It was excellent, following a handful of drivers and clippies and their families, as they talked about their working life and their families and how the two merged together. But what was most interesting was the last five minutes. As they left Alton Towers, the camera kept showing children asleep on either the seats or their parents and intercut this with a debate on the back seats that grew more and more heated. The people were discussing the government and how poorly they were doing things, the war and whether the cost was justified and the dreadful cost of living. Wow, so 1983 and yet perfectly relevant (word-for-word, apart from the sex of the prime minister) 25 years later. And then they poured scorn on the pay award they’d been offered and I had to smile. How on earth, they asked, could management get away with offering them 5.5%?
- - -
In the past, I’ve watched some of my LJ friends vow never to go back to the Shocklines messageboard and, apart from the time drain aspect of it, I could never really see why. I mean, if somebody annoys the hell out of you, just ignore them. But now, unfortunately, I think I can see their point.

I first started publishing in the late 90s, catching the end of the golden era of small press print magazines (most of which I was very proud to be published in and I have them on a shelf in our spare room). The internet was about but it certainly wasn’t everywhere and so my only connection with other writers was the letters pages in the zines themselves, newsletters or personal correspondence. You saw people’s credits when you bought the zines, or you talked about them when you met at gatherings and conventions. To me, it was like opening up a whole new world but I was the same, I plugged away with what I was doing, sent the material out and hoped for the best.

That’s not the way it is now. The Internet is a powerful tool but it also bestows that truly wondrous thing - you can say and do whatever you want, without having to be face-to-face with people and, unlike letters pages, the response is immediate. In the late 90s, a good argument could take weeks to get going. Now, people can close down a messageboard thread in minutes.

What happened? When did being a horror writer mean that you spent all your time on messageboards, telling everyone how wonderful you are or starting threads with posts that are so esoteric you’re the only person who can understand them? When did it mean picking fights with people, telling people where they are going wrong and just generally being an arse? I still visit Shocklines but, as days go by, I find I’m looking into less and less threads because I’m just not interested in who’s fighting who. It doesn’t concern me - I have enough trouble motivating myself to write anyway, why should I worry that these people are trying to pull talk of my beloved genre into childish playground spats?

In general, I respond to threads that feature friends of mine and, in the main, I’m in touch with them in other ways so why put myself through it? I’m sure 99% of people wouldn’t miss me if I never go to Shocklines again (though I’ll keep the option open to check out threads of friends) but maybe it’ll do me some good, it’ll make me forget about the pettiness and get back to the important thing about being a horror writer - the writing.
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Watch the skies! [21 Jul 2008|02:27pm]
Matthew & I were enjoying the late afternoon sun in the garden yesterday and he wanted me to take a picture of the Leylandii at the end of the garden. I wanted to make sure he was in the picture and he dutifully obliged. And as I lined up the shot, I realised something was over his left shoulder. I took the picture as quickly as I could, but then they were gone.

How cool is this?

Watch the skies indeed )
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More pics [17 Jul 2008|12:16pm]
More pics! I’m just sorting through some of my 80s ones and found a batch of school pics. Blimey!

School pics - and a couple of extas too - behind here )
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Another look back (in pictures) [14 Jul 2008|04:17pm]
I’ve been sorting through some old photo’s, which I’ve posted to my Flickr and Facebook accounts and thought, “why not complete the set”? And so, for your viewing pleasure (or not, it’s up to you), here are some more pics from my past.

Pics behind here )
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The weekend was good [14 Jul 2008|01:46pm]
We watched Undead on Saturday night, a “Speirig Brothers film”, which I picked up because it was from New Zealand and was in the ‘style’ of Peter Jackson’s early efforts. Well, it was from NZ, certainly and some of the acting was obviously amateur but this had a certain slickness to it (especially some of the exceptional visual effects, though the milk-in-a-tank cloud stuff got wearing) that seemed to push it towards higher expectations. Which is when the story itself shot it in the foot - the zombies weren’t really, the aliens weren’t what you expected and the whole film seemed to veer from one thing to another with no real reason for any of it. It was enjoyable enough and well made, but it kept throwing me and I don’t think I’d bother with it again.

Then, last night, we watched Rambo. Holy crap! I enjoyed the first film a lot, the second wasn’t too bad (the only one I ever saw at the cinema) and suffered the third but I’d heard a lot of good things about this and wasn’t disappointed. It really harks back to the first film and takes a very visceral approach - you are there, watching men, women and children in trouble and once it gets going, it’s on a par with the opening for “Saving Private Ryan”. The visual effects (especially the neat little digital touches) really aid the whole thing and I really enjoyed it, if that’s the right term. My only quibble - on the DVD, why not have a featurette about the effects?

I bought some books at the weekend, four in total. Two were in Tesco (as part of their “two for £7” deal), the new Jeremy Clarkson and No Time For Goodbye by Linwood Barclay. I’d seen the latter around a few times and, although it’s got a dreadful cover, it kept drawing my attention. So I got it. Then, yesterday, Matthew & I went into Kettering and in Smiths, I got him a new “Night Garden” book and I picked up The Private Lives of Pippa Lee by Rebecca Miller for myself. Again, the cover sold me and I’m aware of Ms Miller, but to her credit, she doesn’t mention her husband or parents anyway, apart from “to d” and “thanks to my mother and father” - I only hope she writes with a fraction of his genius.

Two things came to light, from my purchases. One is that my staple reading diet (and purchasing) seems to be moving away from horror slightly, with most recent purchases being either biography or drama, with the odd thriller thrown in. I’m not too worried about this - the last time I slipped out of horror for a while, I discovered Kerouac and the late 80s stuff by Easton Ellis, McInerny, Chabon and the like, which was all good fun. The second thing is that both the Barclay and Miller books are “Richard & Judy Summer Reads” selections. Nothing wrong in that, I hear you cry and whilst I don’t like their show or the trivia of it, I’d been ignoring their selections in the past, assuming they’d promote Colleen-bloody-Rooney above decent literature and it seems like I was wrong. Hey ho, there we go.

As mentioned above, Matthew & I went into Kettering yesterday to pick up the DVDs and exchange a faulty birthday gift. He insisted on taking Ghost in his buggy and so we did. Strange thing is, this drew a lot of attention from women in their 20s and early 30s - I’ve never had so many ladies smile at me!

Matthew and Ghost, attentive ladies not pictured )

Last evening, we went for our regular wander and walked into town. On the way back, I was looking at the old plastics factory and took a picture of an old doorway. I have performed a bit of digital magic on this and quite like it.

Doorway )
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[09 Jul 2008|03:39pm]
A Meme, stolen without regret from [info]morbidmusings

42 Questions )
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Tuesday - no news today [08 Jul 2008|10:36am]
We watched “The Bank Job” last night and it was really good fun - a well-told story, well-acted and with some nice period touches. I didn’t realise it was written by LaFrenais/Clement, but they did a good job though the film is definitely in two quite distinct tones - quite chirpy and upbeat in the first half and then occasionally squalid and horrific in the second half, when things appear to be turning to crap. But good, all the same and straight in at number four on my favourites list this year - just behind “Juno”.
- - -
As mentioned in the last email, I had a very nice weekend. What I forgot to write yesterday was a little exchange I had with Matthew on Sunday night. I put him to bed and read his stories and sat talking with him for a while and then headed downstairs. As I closed the stairgate behind me, I said “Thank you for making this a lovely weekend, mate.” To which he replied, “No problem, Daddy.”

I love that kid.
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A bit of the weekend, a bit of religion, a bit of this, a bit of that... [07 Jul 2008|01:34pm]
We had a very nice weekend - Pauline came over for dinner on Friday and it was good to see her (and any opportunity for home-made chicken pie should always be taken!).
- - -
On Saturday, I got the signature sheets from Stuart Young for “We Fade To Grey”, which was a great thrill. I’ve only ever signed plates for the novel and that was just me - signing alongside Paul Finch, Mark Morris, Simon Bestwick, Gary McMahon and the aforementioned Mr Young was incredible. In the interests of documenting my creative life, there are some pics below:

Signing the sig sheets )
- - -
On Sunday, Dude & I went out for a walk with Mum & Dad and ended up walking through the gully, which runs just above the folly. They haven’t read “The Mill”, my story for “We Fade To Grey”, because I haven’t given it to them - principally because it deals, a lot, with my feelings over my sisters death. Anyway, they know of the story (I can’t keep quiet that long!) and I was explaining to them how I used the folly and the mound in the gully in the tale. Which I think found interesting - neither of them nodded off, at least.

The gully’s )
- - -
Last night, we watched the BBC news. Talk about doom and gloom! First off, we have those unfortunate French students who, for whatever reason, suffered an episode the like of which I can only barely contemplate. An awful situation and just reading about what happened to them makes me feel ill.

Then we had a bit about Zimbabwe, of Mugabe’s treatment of pretty much everybody and how the UN wants to impose sanctions.
“Hey, I’ve got a great idea that’ll sort this mess out, let’s impose sanctions.”
“Really?”
“Oh yes, if we combine those with banning Zimbabwe from the cricket, Mugabe will see the error of his ways.”
“Hold on, mate, you do realise that he doesn’t give a shit about his people, don’t you?”
“Exactement! That’s why we introduce sanctions.”
“Right, so the man who doesn’t care about his people and lives in relative luxury with his coterie of assistants, hangers-on and goodness knows who else, is going to change his ways because we in the West decide to cut off supplies to and from his country.”
“Yes. I’m getting excited just thinking about it.”
“So if we stop food and vital supplies from going in, who’s actually going to suffer? Mugabe and his coterie or the poor sods who didn’t even get a chance at a proper democratic vote?”
“Yes, but these are sanctions!”

- - -
And then we had the Anglican Church. Now I should point out here, for the balance of argument, that I am not an overly religious man but hey, you know, every man for himself. I do believe in something, but it’s not organised religion - though I have been christened and confirmed and my son was christened. I was brought up by a proud, intelligent and loving mother, I had two sisters, I am married to a great woman - I like women, I’ve never really had any problems with them (and the one I did have a lot of trouble with was a boss of mine, but the reasons had absolutely nothing to do with either of our genders) and I think they are perfectly equal to men (apart from, obviously, the gift of childbirth, which they can keep as their own). So to sit there - having just heard about two young Frenchmen who were stabbed in a frenzied attack and then set on fire and then about a stupid dictator who is essentially killing off his own population - and listen to some incredibly out-of-touch-with-the-real-world people witter on about how this was going to divide the church was enough to turn me off any kind of rational argument they might have. And what argument was it?
Some vicar was sitting outside of the conference hall and he said “it’s my duty to preach the word of God.”
“And what if the church decides to ordain female bishops.”
“Then I suppose I’ll have to leave the church and we’ll form a different arm. Hopefully, it can work in conjunction.”
In fairness, the female vicars who were protesting got on my wick in the few seconds they were on screen, bouncing around like some bizarre breed of hippies who’d taken too much of the good stuff, so they didn’t really do their case any good to me either - hey, everybody loses!
I have absolutely no idea what the religious arguments are for-or-against women bishops and I don’t care, really. We live in a world of recession, of massive violence against individuals and groups that are quite breathtaking in scale, we have world leaders who treat us like idiots and what does our wonderful organised religion do? Yes, it gets itself in a state about whether women should run a diocese and wear an oddly shaped hat. Even worse, one of the so-called ‘compromises’ is that we could have ‘men-only’ diocese. I wonder if they’ll give out the 80s mens magazine of the same name at those meetings? My friend, Gary Greenwood, discusses the situation here, in his own inimitable style.
- - -
There’s also a G8 summit going on. Last time, Bono was all over them, we were going to reduce world debt and turn Africa around, we were - quite literally - going to change the world. What now (where are you Bono)? Well, the American and Japanese contingents are worried about rising oil and food prices and want to see them reduced. And the British Prime Minister (and I, in no way, shape or form, voted for this clown to get into power) has advised that us Brits should not throw out as much food as we do.

Now I’m just a simple layman, so I can appreciate there’s a lot of stuff I don’t understand and I’d lump politics in there in general. I know enough about economics to understand how a recession starts and then begins to feed on itself but, surely, I - and most normal thinking folks - also know the solution. Fuel and food prices are rising - oil companies and the supermarkets (certainly here in the UK) are making more money than they ever have in history. And the UK government, for one, heavily taxes fuel. Now I know this is naïve but, if the oil companies could afford not to make half a billion pounds a quarter and supermarkets didn’t want to make millions and millions and millions (none of which is passed to the producers, of course - so even buying the BOGOFs only helps the supermarket, not the farmer or food manufacturer who supplies it), surely that would help? And if the UK government dropped, say, 5p off the duty (they could probably stretch to much, much more but let’s keep things grounded, eh, what do you say?), they’d make as much as they’d budgeted and we’d all be a lot happier.
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Life is sometimes stranger than fiction... [02 Jul 2008|12:01pm]
In 2004, we went on holiday to York, using it as a base to travel around the area. One day, we went to Whitby and cut back across the moors. We stopped off in a layby and Alison nipped into the shop to buy a bottle of water and a paper and so I decided to mess around and take a picture of myself, being stupid. I’ve always loved “An American Werewolf In London” and in the spirit of that, I thought that “keep off the moors” would make a great photograph.

We used the Advantix for that, but never got the film developed until quite recently - we discovered that Alison was pregnant shortly afterwards and finishing off a film and getting the pictures was the last thing on our minds for ages.

I picked up the film yesterday and had forgotten most of what we’d taken. So imagine my surprise when I came across the one that I decided to call “Keep Off The Moors”.

Picture behind here )
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A new week cometh [30 Jun 2008|01:39pm]
Seriously?

Hugh Grant doesn’t impress me much as an actor, Richard Curtis doesn’t do much for me whatever he does (Dibley! Argh!) - though he’s making the film version of the Radio Caroline story which, after my Johnnie Walker read, might be worth catching, more’s the pity - and I didn’t think I could have been so alone in those thoughts but am I really that far out of touch? I’d agree with the next three choices (though not the Ritchie), but what about the little stuff, like “Gregory’s Girl” (in fact, anything at all by Bill Forsyth)?

“Four Weddings”? Seriously? My God, next time you’ll be trying to convince me that “Pretty Woman” is a feel-good chick flick (as opposed to a prostitute being improbably hired by an attractive man - for $3k, the original working title - and not suffering any harm or degradation or pretty much anything else at all really).

- - -
Had a good weekend, it was great to see Mike & Melanie & Alesha and Matthew was extremely attentive to the little one, helping her to play with his toys and making sure she was okay when I was holding - “don’t drop her, daddy” - and helping to push her pram on the walk. I also got to have a chat with Mike about my feeling a little blue lately, which has done me some good.
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It's a week [27 Jun 2008|10:55am]
We had our induction evening for the nursery school last night - my little Dude, who has just turned three, will be going to the place in September. Because of the quirk of when he was born, he will be almost a year younger than the eldest kids there and that seems so cruel and unfair to me, but there you go. The nursery seemed to be well-laid out and the teachers/nursery nurses seem friendly and efficient so all should be well but… And it’s always strange to see tiny chairs, set up around tiny tables, where you feel as if you’ve suddenly stepped onto the set of “Land Of The Giants”.
- - -

Heard the new record by Kid Rock on Radio 2 - “All Summer Long” I think it’s called, it takes the main theme from “Werewolves Of London”, mixes in some “Sweet Home Alabama” and talks about teenage love affairs and not going back and it’s really rather good. To be honest, all I know of Kid Rock is that he was with Pamela Anderson at some point (which I read about in relation to the Borat movie, for some reason) so I don’t know if this is his usual style or not but it’s very good.
- - -

I’ve had another pre-reader come back on “Drive” (a publisher, no less, whose track record I admire, so even getting him to take a look was a boost for me), with some very perceptive suggestions. Now I just need to gather my druthers and crack on, finish it to my satisfaction and get it out there, singing for its supper.
- - -

Work continues apace on new artwork for my friend Gary Greenwood. I’m really enjoying the process! He’s also posted an image at his blog, which is funny but also taints a childhood favourite.
Check it out here if you dare!
- - -

Finally, my good friend and critiquing partner Sue Moorcroft has suffered a bereavement that took my breath away when she told me about it and my condolences go out to her and her family at this terribly sad time.
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Three things [24 Jun 2008|01:35pm]
I just found out Stan Winston died. And George Carlin too. Whilst I didn’t know either of them, they’ve both entertained me over the years and it’s a shame to see them go.
- - -

I just read “Guts”, by Chuck Palahnuik online here. Apparently, when he’s read this aloud at personal appearances, people have fainted. I can see that. It’s a very disturbing piece of fiction and has made me feel almost as bad as I did when I first read Roberta Lannes’ “Goodnight, Dark Love”. Blimey.
- - -

I just found out that Paul WS Anderson is remaking “Death Race 2000”, with Jason Statham in the Carradine/Frankenstein role. Whilst Statham will probably make a good stab at the role, I am once again amazed that Anderson is allowed to make another film. Does nobody ever look at his CV before they hire him?
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Back to reality [24 Jun 2008|10:13am]
We’re back! Had a cracking holiday - great company, terrific weather and Sea Palling is a lovely place. We were about three hundred yards from the beach, the town was out-of-season so there weren’t many people around, the beaches have won awards for their cleanliness and the sea was clear. I’d go back in an instant, but I wouldn’t want to be there with the crowds, it wasn’t that big a place at all. Matthew loved the beach but thought paddling was too cold, so Dad & I found some rockpools and he loved them.

Unfortunately, we got home to find that Alison has been made redundant from her job at the surveyors - the credit-crunch/recession strikes! That put a dampener on the great week, I can tell you but she’s got some agency interviews lined up, thankfully and there’s not a lot else to do apart from wait now. Ho hum.

Read Johnnie Walker’s autobiography whilst we were away and really enjoyed it. I only really knew the man from the latter part of his Drivetime stint and so it was good to find out who he was and what had led to this point. Recommended. I’ve also had a bit of a Calvin & Hobbes treat, reading “Scientific Progress Goes Boink!” and “Attack Of The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons” - top stuff!

I’ve created a set for the holiday pics at my Flickr account here, if you’re so inclined to take a look, or there are some photo’s behind the cut.

some holiday pics behind here )
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We're all going on a... [13 Jun 2008|09:41am]
Matthew is now about 90% recovered - loud and chirpy and into everything - which is good, because we’re off on holiday tomorrow to a quiet little place called Sea Palling. Away for the week, on the glorious English east coast (within striking distance of the glamorous fleshpots of Great Yarmouth), I’m really looking forward to it - a week to spend with my nearest and dearest, walking, playing on the beach, with plenty of reading and games evenings and no access to the Internet.

So take care, one and all, see you soon.
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The weekend [10 Jun 2008|01:40pm]
Had a very nice anniversary weekend - I got to spend some quality time with my wife, my son is getting better all the time and we did London. Can’t be bad, eh? The last couple of times we’ve been to the capital, it’s been to do with my writing so this time we decided to go the tourist route and I had a brilliant time. We did a bus tour, we sailed down the Thames, we walked a lot and saw some museums - great stuff, all round. There are some pictures - plus a brief travelogue - behind the cut but the rest of my London photos are at my Flickr account here.

Brief travelogue and pictures behind here )

At the weekend, we saw National Treasure 2 which was quite barmy, but pretty good fun all the same - though how they got from point a to point b in London (being as how, when we watched it, we were still in the seasoned-traveller mode) is anyone’s guess! Last night, we watched Juno which was an exceptionally good film and Ellen Page was amazing in it. In fact, had it not been for the annoying soundtrack and the dreadful song choices - did the same supervisor do the stupid Orange ads? - it would have been in contention as top film of (my viewing, not necessarily when it was released at the cinema) year (currently a tie between Eastern Promises and Ills/Them).

Finished “The Mystery Of The Stuttering Parrot” yesterday, which brings my tally for the year to 13 books - woo hoo! We’re off on holiday next week, so I’m taking the Johnnie Walker biography with me, plus another TTI book and I’m planning to start “Head Injuries” too.
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It's all happening! [05 Jun 2008|10:37am]
I’m off work tomorrow, as Alison & I are going down to London to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. Way back in 1998, we’d planned to go to New York but her fear of flying has put paid to that but I don’t mind, I like London and if I get to spend some quality time with my lovely wife, hey, who’s complaining? So yes, 10 years of marriage and 16 years from our first date - the time has flown, there’ve been ups and downs, but I wouldn’t change any of it and look forward to the next 16, though hopefully they won’t go as fast this time (plus, by then, I’ll have a 19 year old son - argh!).

Matthew is recovering well - thank you to everyone who passed on their best wishes. This morning, he hid in our bed and jumped up and yelled "boo" at me as I went in to get dressed!

One of my resolutions this year was to try and get my reading back on track - I read 44 books in 2002, then dipped to 7 each in 2005 and 2006 - and set myself a target of 12. One per month, I thought, surely I should be able to do that. And I have! Woo-hoo! Last night, I finished book number 12, J Madison Davis’ very, very good “The Vertigo Murders” and started on the 13th, the Three Investigators’ “The Mystery Of The Stuttering Parrot”. A top-10-like list (ahem, of 12 books), is behind the cut - see what I’ve read so far and how I rated them against each other!

Books so far this year, behind here and a review too )

Northampton isn’t that small, but it’s certainly not a metropolis and so the occasion for celebrity spotting is minimal. Except this morning. Stuck in traffic at a junction, I was watching the other cars drive by and who should pass but Mark Lawson, in a dark blue Golf? Yep, we have movie stars in this country, pop and rock singers, writers and artists and yet I get to see the man who hosts Newsnight Review. Ah well, take it when you can I suppose. Now if Kylie Minogue is reading this, I usually get stuck at the junction in Chapel Brampton at about 8am each morning! Ask Mark Lawson, he knows how to get there…
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More on "We Fade To Grey" [02 Jun 2008|01:10pm]
Chris Teague has posted a ’book trailer’ for “We Fade To Grey” , which I think is pretty cool.

Just in case you’d forgotten, the book is available for pre-order here!
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It's viral, we can't give you anything for it... [02 Jun 2008|11:17am]
The weekend before last, Matthew had picked up a bit of a headcold - it was unfortunate, but pretty much par for the course now that he’s at nursery. Two-three-four year old kids are not very hygienic at the best of times and if there’s another kid in the vicinity who happens to talk at the wrong time, the sneezer/cougher will automatically turn to them and the talker gets a faceful. It’s not nice but it’s good, because it does help build up their immune system.

Last Thursday, Dude was overcome by a sickness and diarrhoea bug, which was unpleasant for all concerned. He got worse on Friday, burning up and not wanting to do anything. On Saturday morning, he was like a little furnace, squirting out pretty much everything he drank and he wouldn’t touch any food at all. It got so bad, we rang NHS Direct and then went to KeyDoc, where we discovered he had viral gastroenteritis! Poor little bugger. He’s not the biggest kid in the world and three days of not eating and whatever was inside coming out from one end of the other had really taken their toll - he looked like a kid who hadn’t eaten for weeks, he was floppy, it was awful (is there really anything as terrible as a parent seeing their child poorly?). We couldn’t get anything for him - viral, don’t you know - and were advised to keep him cool and try and get him to drink little or often. Easier said than done, but we persevered and yesterday he seemed a bit brighter - talking, focussing on things, mooching about. I nipped into Kettering and got him an ironing board and iron (from ELC) so that he & I could be ‘ironing buddies’ and he loved it. In fact, as I left for work this morning, he was sitting on his chair in the lounge ‘ironing’ his pants.

He’s better now, thank goodness and assuming he doesn’t come into contact with anything else over the next couple of days, will recover quickly. It’s strange though, as Alison said on Saturday - normally, he’s a typical boy, loud and nosey and adventurous. Seeing him laying there, not responding to anything and not talking, was awful.

So not a good weekend, all in all.

Next weekend, hopefully, will be brighter. On Friday, it’s mine and Alison’s tenth wedding anniversary. Originally, we’d planned to go to New York for it but her fear of flying has put paid to that, so we’re going to London instead and I’m really looking forward to it. Dude will be staying with his grandparents, so they’ll all have a nice time too and so everyone wins!

Roll on better health and the weekend.
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Driving related (but not related to "Drive") [29 May 2008|02:05pm]
I did the bank run this morning, so I hit the roadworks (which run from Sixfields cinema through to the Hunsbury turn-off) at 9.15, which meant that one of the lanes (it’s a little dual carriageway) was closed off to protect the workmen.

Now I’m normally at work for 8.30, but I see the cones every morning and the ‘lane closing’ signs at the side of the road and so I know it happens, even though it rarely affects me. This morning, as I drove down the hill from Sixfields, I saw the first big sign. It was very clear - two black bars, one of them T’d off by a red bar and the legend “Lane Closing 400 yards”. Acknowledging this, I indicated and pulled into the outside lane (that wouldn’t close) and drove over the roundabout.

One car whizzed by, followed by three others, all driven by women. A dozen or more cars ahead of me, a Christian Salveson lorry had pulled into the overtaking lane, to block these idiots off and I gave that silent prayer to the god of motorists that none of the prunes in front of me would let these pushers-in into the queue. Another car pulled level, a bloke in a black Astra. We crawled along and he looked at me. I looked at him and kept close to the car in front and he finally got the message and pulled in behind me. A car Mazda (the ‘hairdresser car’ sort) was behind him, the driver running level with her neighbour, blocking the lane. Behind her was a camper van, with a couple of old dears in it.

The queue trundled along and passed another sign, saying the road would go to single lane in 200 yards. Big sign, lots of black and red, very clear. The hairdresser car pulled in and guess what? Yes, even though the cones were now visible, the camper van sped up. Pissed off at this stupidity, I pulled over to straddle the lanes, effectively holding him up and, once again, we trundled along in peace.

Then I heard a car horn. I looked in the rear view mirror but the old boy in the camper van didn’t look like he was particularly pissed off with me. I looked in the side view mirror and was astounded to see a silver Nissan trying to get past him. Now bear in mind, we’re on a dual carriageway - the camper van is in the overtaking lane, another car is in the outside lane. The road, therefore, is full. Not that this stopped the silver Nissan - it pulled onto the central reservation and drove around the camper and came at me. I pulled further over - we were literally about 50 yards from the cones now - but this didn’t stop the silver Nissan. It drew level to me and I looked over at the driver, a woman in her early twenties. She studiously didn’t look at me so I honked the horn, as much to say, “hey, other people are here too you know and your lane is just about to disappear”. She didn’t look, but pulled ahead slightly and started to turn into my lane. I honked the horn again - our cars were probably five or six inches apart now and I was fully in my lane - but still she ignored me so I pulled ahead of her, effectively forcing her to slow down because of the cones and she tucked in behind me. I expected a tirade of abuse and hand signals but she didn’t do anything, she just looked straight ahead, her gaze hidden beneath impenetrable dark glasses and when we reached the Hunsbury roundabout, she went up the hill and I went straight over and that was it.

Except that I was royally pissed off. I understand that people don’t want to hang around, that queues drive people nuts (they do me) but hey, if two lanes are converging into one, why piss off a whole line of traffic so that you can gain half a dozen car lengths? How shallow must your life be if that gives you a thrill? In the past, when lorries have blocked off the closing lane, it’s been obvious how much quicker traffic flows if everyone is single file and not having to keep stopping and starting as stupid people in front let even more stupid people push in. If you’re in a hurry - ie, it’s an emergency - then run with your hazards on, lean out of the window, tell people what’s going on. I couldn’t guarantee that it’d get you anywhere, but it’d be worth a try.

But seriously, put yourself in this woman’s place. You’re driving along a road that’s clogged with traffic. You’ve passed two big, clearly marked signs saying that your lane is going to disappear very shortly. There’s a big camper van in front of you, obviously not going anywhere, so with all this in mind would your logical course of action be to ride the central reservation to get around the obstacle? And if you did that and then saw another car and a whole line of cones merging your lane into that of the other car, would you try to push said other car out of the way?

Grrrr.

And speaking of bad drivers (very tenuous link here), we watched “Deathproof” last night - my thoughts are behind here, complete with spoilers. )
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Where does the time rush away to? [27 May 2008|11:43am]
We watched Them on Saturday night and it more than lived up to the recommendations friends had made over it. It starts low-key, with de-saturated colours and a very naturalistic soundtrack and before you know it, you’re involved with this couple and their huge old house in the middle of nowhere (and the fact that Lucas is a procrastinating writer doesn’t hurt). Then, when things start to go wrong - and blimey, do they start to go wrong - it is, quite literally, frightening. I was watching it, in a brightly lit room with my wife, I knew all the doors were locked and yet still, I’m listening to “them” and thinking “oh God, what would I do?” The tension cranks up until you don’t think you can take anymore and then - SPOILER - Clem ventures into the plastic draped loft-space - END SPOILER. The suspense keeps going, even once you realise what “they” are, until the jaw-dropping finale. A superb film, absolutely brilliant!

It was Matthew’s birthday party on Sunday, attended by close family and we had a wonderful afternoon. He got plenty of gifts - a pretty equal tie between Thomas and Night Garden merchandise, I’d say - and really enjoyed himself. Watching him race around, play games with cousin Ryan and interact with his aunts and uncles and grandparents, it was still difficult to comprehend that three years have whizzed by! Hey, time - slow down, would you?

Matthew’s birthday weekend pics, behind here )

It was actually Dude’s birthday yesterday, which we spent quietly. It was a lousy day, weather-wise - cold and rainy and blowy - which was in stark contrast to three years ago, when it was sunny and warm. I made sure I gave him plenty of hugs and kisses yesterday, though he tried to fight me off for half of them and our ‘small present’ (his ‘big present’ is a swingset, that we haven’t put up yet) of a moving Ninky Nonk (look it up for yourself) jumped to the top of his favourite present list, which was nice!

I was going to start Ray Garton’s “Night Life” at the weekend, but instead, I picked up Bruce Campbell’s If Chins Could Kill and I’m loving it. It’s brilliant!
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